Finding Repentance

“But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger!  ‘I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”‘  So he got up and came to his father.” (Luke 15:17-20 NASB)

In the previous two parables, someone searches diligently until they find what was lost; shepherd for sheep, woman for a coin.  But in this parable the father remains at home looking at the horizon.  In the previous two parables, the rejoicing at having found what was lost was to illustrate the rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents.  In the third parable, the change in the younger son describes repentance.

I have been asked what repentance is, what it looks like and and so on.  Normally people refer to the word “turn” or “return” with repentance when that is the least common word used for it in Scripture.  The most common word used is a “change of mind”.  This meaning is the least common explanation of repentance.  The repentance of the younger son didn’t happen on the way back.  That would simply be return.  The repentance of the younger son happened in the far country.

“But, having come into himself…” doesn’t use the word, “afterthought”, but it does describe it.  He was thinking one way, living one way, seeing things one way, and suddenly stops.  He comes to himself.  There’s a part of him that “wakes up” as if from day dreaming.  That’s the first part of repentance.

The younger son, having come into himself, then takes honest stock of his circumstances compared with what he has known.  Not the wasteful living he has known, but the life he has known with his father.  He compares his circumstances with those of his fathers field workers.  He’s actually worse off than they are.

Keep in mind that his assessment is a comparison with the results of his choices versus the circumstances of his life with the father.  This parable presupposes an experience with the father with which to compare current circumstances. In other words, for the popular understanding of repentance, he had something to return to; it is going back to something once possessed and enjoyed.  This is going to have meaning for us as we apply this concept to any evangelistic endeavor.

The younger son then comes up with an apology.  He will go back and ask to be a hired person.  This is the humbling part of the process, the part where we acknowledge we are entitled to nothing.  That’s difficult for us as people.  Regardless of culture, we have this concept of entitlement of one sort or another.  But repentance brings us to a place where we renounce any entitlement.

Finally, the younger son stood up and went back.  This is the final part of a process that included much more.  We’d love to skip to this part, and return to the robe and ring and sandals and veal without honesty and humility.  Then, when the robe, ring, and veal are missing from our “return” we are upset with the results, thinking we did our part, where’s God’s part?  Repentance cannot simply be a return.  It must be a process of changing how we think about what we did and do.

Having been in a 12-step program for years, I described the program to those outside and inside as a spiritual discipline of repentance.  I got a lot of confused stares doing that. I was okay with such a response.  I still believe it is a spiritual discipline of repentance.  And to an extent, I still follow those tenants.  The program systematized repentance so people had steps to follow instead of a word to figure out.  And it also brilliantly illustrates how difficult the process can be.

So this is what I learn from the parable of the lost son, or one of the things.  What do you learn?

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Forced Transparency

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.  Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops. (Luke 12:2-3 ESV)

These two verses are terrifying to me.  For one who has spent so much of his life in shadows, such “light” applied so thoroughly to those shadows is frightening.  There’s a reason I liked the shadows.  When I was a kid, like every kid, I was afraid of the dark.  But then, at some point, something changed, and I loved it.  It was like a comfort.  That should have been scary enough, or at least a warning to me.

In my home growing up, the “secrets” were pretty benign.  We didn’t have abuse or anything, but we did have disease and its affects.  We did work within a system that seemed to require a certain amount of secrecy.  “Don’t ask, don’t tell”; if the information wasn’t requested, don’t give it.  I suppose what I remember were more “lies of omission”, but again, pretty benign when compared to the horror stories I’ve heard from other families.  It wasn’t bad, so it seemed acceptable.  It wasn’t until I was older that I figured out that those two are not exactly the same thing, merely related, and not even that all the time.

The reality I’m coming to understand from Scripture is that the cliche about God knowing everything about me is only part of the story.  The other part is that He wants everyone to know everything about me too.  When He describes the life full of light, and the “singleness” of sight, and other means to describe complete transparency, I get really uncomfortable.  Yet, what He wants among His people is for them to be fearlessly transparent with each other.  For someone who actually likes the dark, that’s not really comfortable, not at all.  My life isn’t that…”good” that I’m willing to be that transparent, with anyone.

Ironically though, I’m realizing that it’s this transparency that my Master has designed as His path out of the darkness of my “hidden sins”.  I want to get cleaned up first, but He wants to clean me using this transparency.  In a way, it’s this transparency that enables Him to use others to achieve my sanctification.  The transparency opens myself up to the accountability which then provides the context to choose life each minute.  Sure, it would be nice to have the power within myself to make those choices, but my Master seems determined to make and keep my dependent upon my fellow believers and followers.  The Holy Spirit coming along side to help me chooses to use those around me to facilitate the changes He wants to make.  To borrow another cliche, it takes a village to live a life pleasing to God.  Another way of looking at it is that salvation is lived out within the context of a church, or it’s not lived out.  Although I suppose it would depend upon the church.

See where this enforced honesty and openness is so unnerving?  So, I need to be transparent, but I also need to be in a church where transparency is at least accepted rather than rejected.  I don’t think everyone in the church need be transparent, I’d be able to use the excuse that I can’t find such a church, and therefore don’t need to be transparent myself.  That won’t fool my Master.  As long as the church doesn’t disassociate with me, kick me out, or reject me out of hand for the transparency, it should be effective.  But there are other dangers in transparency.  Confessing my sin could spread it’s affect to another, weaker brother or sister.  That would be counter productive.  Care should be taken not to hurt others, but such restraint should be driven by my love for them, not my fear of confessing my sin.  It doesn’t change the need for transparency.

Going back to where we started, there’s really no point to keeping my sin secret.  Jesus is pointing out that it doesn’t matter where you speak it, it will be found out and become public (politics 101).  So, I (and you) might as well be transparent.  It won’t matter what we try to hide anyway.  I guess for me the trick will be ensuring that I’m not spiritually “streaking” where everyone is affected, some adversely, by my openness.  But the important part is to do it rather than simply write about it.

What do you learn from Jesus’ declaration there will be no secrets?

Honest Change

Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.” (Lk. 7:39 NASB)

Luke provides the “interior” speech of the Pharisee.  We skip right over that because we’re so used to it in books and works of fiction.  But it really should arrest our attention here.  How would Luke know what the Pharisee was thinking at this event?  For that detail to become part of the story of Jesus, Jesus would have had to tell the disciples.  That would have happened had they asked perhaps, but they wouldn’t know to ask until after the resurrection.  And after the resurrection, wouldn’t there be bigger questions to ask?

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